


Five Times Jane Kinda Sorta Accidentally Slept With An Avenger, The One Time She Didn't, And the Many (Many) Times It Wasn't Even a Little Accidental

by shinyopals



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: BAMF Jane Foster, Crack, During Canon, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Jane Foster Loves Science, Jane Foster has ALL the Nobel Prizes, Kinda, POV Jane Foster, Thor Is Not Stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-21 19:04:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3702597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinyopals/pseuds/shinyopals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some people collect Avengers trading cards. Some collect action figures. Jane Foster, almost entirely without meaning to, has them all beat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Jane Kinda Sorta Accidentally Slept With An Avenger, The One Time She Didn't, And the Many (Many) Times It Wasn't Even a Little Accidental

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [Well Remembered](http://archiveofourown.org/chapters/7758362) by [Rozilla](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Rozilla/pseuds/Rozilla), which you should read because it's hilarious.
> 
> Massive thanks as ever to [Niobium](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Niobium/) for the beta job!

_**One, but Jane doesn’t know it yet: April 2004. The cheapest bar near Culver University campus** _

‘And then he just _dumped me_ , right on the night before my thesis defence! Can you believe that?’

The smiling, blond, giant, practically-a-god in front of her gestured to the barman for another three drinks - two for him and one for her.

‘That was most inconsiderate of him,’ he said, deep voice rumbling in a way that made her stomach do flip-flops. ‘Though it seems to me to be most fortunate that he did, or else I would not now be speaking to you.’

Jane tried to reply, but all that came out was a slightly embarrassed squeaking noise. Fortunately for her, the background chatter and music of the bar prevented her new acquaintance from hearing. She grabbed her drink and tried not to stare too openly at the way his muscles moved under his t shirt as he did the same. When she dragged her eyes up to his face again, he winked at her, and she felt herself turn bright red.

This was _not_ her area of expertise.

Across the bar, she caught a glance of Julia giving her a thumbs-up and Betty gesturing for her to get in there.

Before tall-blonde-and-godlike noticed her friends, she quickly turned back to him and shot him a smile she hoped was ‘charming’ rather than ‘desperate’. Right, enough ranting about exes - although he’d listened very nicely. Time for something less awkward.

‘So what brings you to Culver?’ she asked, internally wincing and wishing she was more interesting at smalltalk.

‘Time travel,’ he said solemnly. ‘It was an accident. The equipment could not handle the power load, so I stepped forward to shut it off and was sent thirteen years back in time. Now I must await rescue at your hands.’

Jane stared at him.

‘Um, sorry?’

He grinned. ‘Time travel,’ he said again.

He was clearly crazy, but for that smile she was going to ignore that and just go with it.

‘So you’re from the future?’

‘That is so.’

‘You’re telling me in thirteen years time, humans have somehow built working time travel?’

‘Well it is not fully working, or else I should not be here,’ he replied. ‘And not humans, just you.’

She blinked at him. ‘I don’t work on time travel, I work on Einstein-Rosen Bridges.’

‘Ah, but your bridges connect two points of spacetime, do they not?’ he said. ‘Under your science, space and time are two parts of a whole.’

‘Um,’ said Jane. 

If this was a line, it was _working_. She wondered which of Julia or Betty had put him up to it.

‘I do hope you’ll be able to retrieve me,’ he said, voice solemn once more. ‘For thirteen years is a long time to wait to see you receive your second Nobel.’

‘Um,’ said Jane again. ‘Any time you want to, like, get married, you just let me know.’

The slightly sober part of her brain cursed the drunk half. _Do not propose to men in bars._ Especially men in bars who used Nobel prizes and time travel as chat up lines. She did _not_ want to scare this one away.

To her relief, he just grinned. ‘I shall remind you of that,’ he said. ‘When you rescue me.’

Jane felt this conversation had already gone way beyond what she was capable of with a man she’d only just met. She was pretty sure that he was into her though, so she decided to take the easy shortcut to avoid talking and pulled him down to her level to kiss him.

By the time he was carrying her, fairytale prince style, up the stairs and into her apartment - _ohmygod how was he even real?_ \- still kissing her all the way, she was _definitely_ sure he was into her.

~*~

The next morning, her mystery stranger was gone, leaving only a note.

> My Jane,
> 
> It pains me to leave without a goodbye, but given the nature of my visit to this year, it seemed as though I should. I hope by the time you read this I will already have returned to my own time, if such a thing makes sense to even say.
> 
> Keep working, and you shall have your Nobel(s)!

_Holy shit,_ she thought to herself. He was the most committed one night stand ever. If her friends weren’t so damn poor she’d have accused them of hiring the world’s hottest male escort and feeding him this story, because it was pretty much tailor-made for her personal wants.

Still… the previous night… the way he’d… well, she could almost believe he’d done _that_ with her before, given how perfectly he’d known exactly what to do.

Grumbling to herself, slightly regretting that he was clearly a one-night sort of guy, she turned to the piles of books and papers. 

‘If I’m gonna invent time travel I’d better get on with this,’ she muttered to no one in particular.

Half an hour later, she realised she couldn’t really remember what he looked like. Somehow it had slipped through her brain like water.

 _Weird,_ she thought to herself. She hadn’t thought she’d been at all drunk, so how could she not remember?

~*~

_**Two: January 2005. The second cheapest restaurant within five minutes’ walk of the Physics building at Culver University** _

‘So Jane,’ said Betty, before not continuing at all and instead having another drink.

Jane blinked at her. ‘Um, yes?’

Betty had invited her out for dinner and drinks, saying there was something she wanted to ask. Whatever it was, she hadn’t got brought it up all through dinner. Instead they’d talked about Jane’s recent trip to Alaska to record some gravitational data, and Betty’s top-secret you-can’t-tell-anyone-about-this-please-Jane-you’ve-gotta-promise-me work for the US military about investigating the effect of gamma radiation on human cells.

Jane hoped Betty wasn’t going to try and recruit her for Army work. She was pretty sure her work didn’t have any military applications, but she was equally sure some asshole soldier type could find a way to turn it into a death ray if they tried really hard.

‘You know Bruce, right?’ said Betty.

‘Sure,’ said Jane with a shrug. ‘Your boyfriend, right? I don’t know him that well. I went to one or two of his lectures in undergrad but I never had a class with him. He’s done some good work. I’m guessing he’s involved with your super secret stuff too?’

‘Yeah, but that’s not why I’m asking.’

When Betty didn’t say anything for another few seconds, Jane had another sip of wine. She wasn’t sure what was happening but she’d liked her meal, so she might as well enjoy it while she was there. It had been a while since she’d had an evening off work, after all.

‘Do you like him?’ asked Betty at last.

‘Er… sure?’ hazarded Jane, wondering where this was going. ‘I really don’t know him though.’

‘No, I mean… ugh, I’m doing this all wrong.’

‘Betty, I have no idea what you’re doing. Can you please just say? You know I’m no good with… people stuff if you don’t spell it out.’

Betty smiled sympathetically. ‘Sorry, it’s just a weird thing to ask. Bruce and I have been talking about some stuff we wanted to try, you know, in the bedroom, and you and I had that thing a couple of years back, so I wondered if maybe you might be open to…?’ She trailed off.

Jane stared. ‘Wait, are you asking me if I’ll have a threesome with you guys?’

‘It’s OK if you don’t want to!’ said Betty hurriedly. ‘I know it’s a bit of an ask, and I don’t want things to be weird between us.’

‘No, it’s not that weird,’ said Jane. ‘Probably not. I mean, what else is college for? Even if we’re not undergrads any more.’ She considered for a few moments, bringing up a mental picture of Bruce Banner as she did. She knew she liked Betty, and Bruce had a nice smile and was good at physics, which were pretty much her main requirements. ‘Sure, why not? It’ll be something ticked off the bucket list.’ She considered for another second. ‘As long as Bruce doesn’t think it’s weird that we did have that thing.’

‘Oh no, he knows about that,’ said Betty. ‘He’s cool with it.’

Jane snorted. ‘I’ve heard men say things like that before,’ she said.

~*~

A week later, sprawled on the bed in the main room of Bruce’s apartment, Jane reflected on a bucket list item successfully ticked off. Betty was as fun as she’d remembered, and Bruce had proved pretty considerate and adept in the sack.

‘How’s the gamma research going on?’ she asked Bruce, in the interests of making conversation.

‘Ugh, Jane, I should have known pillow talk with you was about work,’ he muttered, shutting his eyes and trying to look like he was dozing. 

‘Dirty talk too, nine times out of ten,’ she told him.

‘I can verify that,’ said Betty with a grin.

Bruce laughed.

‘Just think,’ continued Betty, ‘whichever one of us gets the Nobel Prize first, the other two are going to have a hell of a story to sell to the press.’

‘High five for the three-way most likely to win the Nobel,’ said Bruce, high-fiving Betty and then offering one to Jane. Jane laughed and raised her hand in return.

Later, as she was leaving, Bruce helped her on with her coat. ‘Please don’t tell Erik about this,’ he said.

Jane giggled. ‘Oh my god, I do not tell Erik about anything related to my sex life,’ she said. ‘He’s like a substitute dad.’

Bruce winced. ‘Now you’re just making it worse.’

Laughing again, she stood on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. ‘See you around.’

Betty also leaned down to kiss her cheek. ‘See you for coffee on Saturday,’ she said.

And just like that, Jane thought, everything was back to normal.

~*~

_**Three: November 2006. A big-ass hotel conference room, Space Travel Propulsion Conference 2006, Boston MA** _

‘Your math on the friction of the delta effect is wrong.’

The entire room seemed to draw in its breath as one, then fell abruptly silent. Sitting next to her, Julia elbowed her in the ribs.

‘ _Jane_ ,’ she hissed. ‘You cannot just say that. Tact. Remember tact.’

Jane stared down at the speaker from her position three-quarters of the way back and up in the wings of the conference room, ignoring the whispered mutters that had started to make their way through the large hall. 

She should shut up. No, not shut up. She should apologise, excuse herself, and never show her face again and then maybe, just maybe, if she went back to recording data and publishing under a pseudonym, she could still have a career.

‘It works for the current measured quantum probabilities,’ she said, voice ringing clearly through the silence. ‘But you didn’t take into account Van Djick’s paper in the AJP last month which shows the effect of gravity increasing the rate of particle movement. If you try and build that, it’ll fall apart.’

The speaker flipped back to the offending slide in his presentation and considered it.

Jane found herself holding her breath.

The oppressive feeling in the room continued, punctuated only by murmured scepticism.

‘Well fuck me,’ said Tony Stark at last. ‘I think you might be right. Of course, from an engineering perspective, all I really need to do is have the gold added to the alloy at a higher temperature… hmm… another three hundred degrees should do it and that’ll strengthen the material enough to deal with the increased friction.’

He grinned to the room.

Jane let out her breath at last, as the rest of the room seemed to relax with her.

‘Career is saved!’ she muttered to Julia, who did not laugh.

~*~

‘I cannot believe you just sat there and corrected Tony Stark’s math!’ said Julia, over a glass of wine at the hotel bar later that day. ‘My heart was in my throat. I wanted to duck under the seats and pretend I didn’t know you in case _my_ career got tarnished just by sitting next to you.’

‘Was I supposed to just let it go? It was clearly wrong!’

‘Oh big deal,’ said Julia. ‘So Stark’s missiles go a bit off target. The world would probably be a better place because of it. What’s he even doing here anyway? This is meant to be about science and space, not about weapons.’

‘I can’t just let clearly wrong math go!’ argued Jane. ‘Even if it is evil math! It was just… wrong, and right there in front of my face. Was I meant to ignore it?’

‘That’s what normal people do,’ said Julia. ‘No, wait, who am I kidding? Normal people can’t follow a talk delivered at three hundred miles an hour with no workings, proofs, or proprietary information supplied. How, Jane, how? And _why_?’

‘Dr Foster, right?’

The two of them jumped and Jane whirled around to see Tony Stark himself. He was wearing sunglasses indoors and carrying a drink, with a smug grin on his face, because of course he was. What a dick. If he’d heard the ‘evil math’ comment, he certainly didn’t give any indication.

‘Drink?’ he asked.

‘I’ve got one, thanks,’ she said, pointing at her wine and eyeing him carefully.

‘Can we talk?’

She glanced at Julia, who shrugged. ‘I need to go and catch up with Freddie London anyway,’ she said. ‘Come find me later.’

Stark leaned against the bar next to Jane. ‘That was a hell of a spot, Dr Foster,’ he said. ‘Not your area of expertise, either.’

‘Er, no,’ said Jane. How on earth would he know that? ‘But Van Djick used some of the data I collected last summer so I gave the paper a detailed read.’

‘Have you ever thought about doing some private sector work? Brain like yours, you could make a lot of money.’

‘I’m not in it for the money,’ said Jane with slightly narrowed eyes.

‘It’s not just the take-home money, though, it’s the resources. At Stark you could have access to all kinds of equipment - telescopes, particle accelerators, a team and a lab of your own...’

Jane felt her breath catch in surprise. ‘Are you… are you trying to hire me?’ she said blankly.

‘Doc, it’s an extremely rare person who is smart enough to correct my math and brave enough to stand up in a room full of hundreds of others and announce it. Stark could use you, and we could offer you a lot more than you’ll get on the hunt for grants.’

For a sudden, crazy moment, Jane wondered what her life could be like. No more scraping by and eating Ramen and travelling by Greyhound, that was for sure. But more importantly, all the tools and equipment she could possibly need to do her work. There’d be no need for her to recycle her old microwaves and duct-tape together her own radiation shields from scrap metal if she were to accept an offer like this.

Except it wouldn’t be her work, not really. It’d be Stark’s. And in ten years time she’d be watching a war take place on TV and people would be getting shot at using something _she’d_ helped develop. 

‘I don’t want to work in weapons development,’ she said, more sharply than perhaps she intended.

His smile didn’t falter, and he handed her a business card. ‘Suit yourself.’

She scowled at him. ‘I’m serious,’ she said. ‘I like my wormholes just fine and, you know, not killing people.’

‘Not really a hot area of astrophysics, is it?’

‘Does that matter? Besides, some of what I’ve seen… I almost wouldn’t believe it if someone else was showing it to me.’

‘Yeah?’ He leaned forward with interest. ‘What sort of stuff?’ At her suspicious look he held up his hands in innocence. ‘No ulterior motive at work. None of our weapons need unproven spacetime bridges to work. I’m just curious.’

Jane hesitated. Not many people were genuinely interested in her work these days. It had cost her a relationship and put a bit of a strain on a couple of friendships. It’d be nice to just talk it through with someone who did want to know, even if he was probably only buttering her up to try and hire her.

‘I’ve been collecting data on some storm patterns - there’ve only been a couple so far but there’s some fascinating similarities between the readings. It’s really starting to look like there might be some quantum entanglement with an entirely different region.’

‘Really?’ Stark peered at her over his sunglasses. ‘No proof yet, I’m guessing?’

‘Early stages,’ said Jane. ‘At the moment it’s just hints. I’m hoping to get another couple of events and then I can build a predictive model and get more data.’

‘I’d love to see what you’ve got.’

She frowned. ‘Seriously?’

‘Sure, sounds interesting. If it’s keeping you away from working for me, it’s gotta be good.’

She was so used to _nobody_ taking her work seriously that her reaction was to pull her laptop out of her bag straight away. Even Erik thought she hadn’t got anything, and that was what hurt the most. Leaning over her shoulder, Stark surveyed her work and she talked him through it in more detail than she would have done if he hadn’t been so flatteringly interested.

Then, after her laptop’s battery warning came up, he offered to show her some more of his own work, including how he’d arrived at the conclusion she’d corrected earlier.

A couple of hours of science in Stark’s suite and another - much nicer - glass of wine later, it began to occur to Jane that what was happening might not be entirely about the science.

_Shit._

She excused herself to the bathroom and frantically dialled for Julia.

‘Where are you?’ demanded her friend.

‘I’m in the executive suite of the hotel,’ she hissed. ‘Stark’s been showing me his science.’

‘Oh, _that’s_ what they’re calling it now.’

‘Shut up!’ she replied crossly. ‘I think he might actually want to, you know… show me his science.’

‘Well yeah, if you’re in the suite. That’s what he does. Damn, Jane, what did you think was going to happen? Use protection though. Who knows what he’s got.’

‘I’m not- I can’t just- are you serious?’

‘Why the hell not? Talk about notch in the bedpost. Yours, I mean. Pretty sure he’s got no bedpost left after all the notches.’

‘Don’t we both agree that he’s an evil weapons dealer who shouldn’t be allowed at science conferences?’

‘Well yeah, but you’ve already helped him improve his missiles once today, you might as well-’

‘If you say anything about polishing his missile we are no longer friends.’

‘I would never! Just go and bang Stark and sell your story to the papers when your student loan debt gets too much for you.’

~*~

The next morning she woke up alone in the massive bedroom of the penthouse executive suite. She was not overly surprised at that. In fact, it was probably an improvement on waking up next to Tony Stark in some state of undress. She was never very good at the-morning-after. What was she meant to say to a guy she’d just picked up for the sex? Especially when, as in this case, she’d mostly just picked him up so she could tell her friends, and she actually hated all of his principles and thought he was a bit of an asshole.

An asshole who was a pretty good lay and had a brilliant mind, but an asshole nonetheless. 

She glanced around the room, but could see no sign of her clothes and grimaced to herself. Had she left them in the living room of the suite? She didn’t want to walk out there without clothes in case someone else was around. Or even in case Stark was around if she was honest. Searching in the cupboard, she found one of the hotel’s bathrobes which she wrapped around herself.

Out in the main room, she was greeted by a tall, slender, gorgeous looking woman in a neat suit.

‘Oh,’ she said. ‘Um.’

‘Hello, Dr Foster,’ said the woman. ‘I’m Pepper Potts, Mr Stark’s assistant.’

‘Oh, thank god, I thought you were his girl-’ She broke off suddenly, forcing herself to stop talking.

Ms Potts gave a small smile that was too polite to show if she had an opinion about being mistaken for Stark’s girlfriend. ‘I’ve had your clothes laundered, and your laptop and papers are next to your bag. Please help yourself to the toiletries in the room. Mr Stark has also asked me to convey that if you’re ever interested in working for Stark Industries, please give him a call.’

‘Thanks, but I don’t think that’s going to happen,’ said Jane. She accepted her clothes from Ms Potts. ‘Thanks for, er, this,’ she said awkwardly, then she laughed. ‘God, he’s got this down to an art form, hasn’t he?’

Ms Potts seemed to permit herself another small smile.

‘Anyway, I’d better go and get dressed. It was nice meeting you!’

‘And you,’ said Ms Potts politely.

Back in her own hotel room, trying to work out exactly what she did and didn’t want to share with Julia about the previous night’s encounter, Jane sorted through her things to make sure she hadn’t lost anything. To have to go back up to the penthouse suite would be incredibly embarrassing.

She realised as she did that Stark’s business card had somehow snuck its way into her stuff. She wondered if that was entirely accidental.

It was… _flattering_ to be offered a job like that. She fingered the card with a little longing. If only some people in her own field would take her seriously enough to do that. It was almost enough to make her take Stark up on his offer.

 _Almost_ being the key word. She wasn’t going to work in weapons development; she didn’t want to work for a company with that much blood on its hands. He, on the other hand, wasn’t going to give up missiles and guns and start working in wormholes. There was no way they could work together, even if she had felt like their brains had meshed pretty well.

Sighing with some regret, Jane tossed the business card in the garbage. 

~*~

_**Four: August 2012. Somewhere in the most boring part of the midwest, SHIELD Not-So-Secret Base** _

The stars were not as bright as she would have liked.

The base she was working at was out of town, surrounded by miles and miles of forest. By rights the view of the sky should be excellent, as there were no other buildings for as far as the eye could see. The SHIELD base’s giant security fence with bright lights, not to mention the lights from the windows of the buildings themselves, were what ruined that.

Sighing, she poured herself another glass of wine from the bottles she’d brought up with her.

She hadn’t meant to mope. She really hadn’t.

There was a party going on downstairs, celebrating Captain America doing something (she hadn’t paid that much attention). Some bright spark had made it 1940s themed, which had seemed to make half the attendees, including Cap himself, slightly uncomfortable. 

Darcy, of course, was in her element. She always was at parties. She’d bullied Jane into attending, curled her hair, and found her a costume. It didn’t look _terrible_ , all things considered, but Jane’s heart hadn’t been in it and she’d hovered at the sides with a few of the other awkward scientists before Darcy had tried to make her dance.

‘In the 1940s we’d be being rounded up into concentration camps,’ she’d told Darcy.

‘Jesus Christ,’ Darcy had muttered. ‘I give up. Go, leave! Go and cry into some ice cream. I’ve tried, and you’ve defeated me and I need an evening off trying to make you enjoy life. I’m going to go and use my wiles on Captain America.’

At that, she’d hitched up her bra. Jane had managed to laugh at that, but she’d taken Darcy’s words as the permission she’d needed and left the party to go up to the roof.

Now, with her feet dangling over the edge, a rapidly emptying (second) bottle of wine by her side, she leaned backwards and looked upwards, thinking of Asgard and wondering where it was.

He could at least have left a _note_ saying he wasn’t interested.

Jane drank more wine.

A noise behind her made her jump and twist around, wobbling slightly on the edge of the roof as she did.

‘Shit, be careful!’

She didn’t have time to respond before Captain America grabbed her arm to steady her.

‘I’m fine,’ she said. ‘Look, perfectly steady.’ She leaned forward to demonstrate, instantly felt dizzy, and had to be pulled back again before she tipped over.

‘Sorry, I didn’t know someone was up here,’ he said. 

He, like her, was carrying a bottle. Unlike her, his was unlabelled, and she vaguely recalled hearing one of the chemists talking about a ‘special brew’ for the Cap, since he couldn’t get drunk on the regular stuff.

That probably explained the way he all but fell onto the edge next to her.

‘Wait, I’ll go,’ he said, struggling with his feet. ‘Sorry, didn’t mean to bother you.’

‘It’s fine,’ said Jane, waving a hand vaguely. ‘You can stay if you want.’ At that he gave up trying to stand, leaned his head back and shut his eyes with a groan of relief.

‘Why is it spinning?’ he asked, after a moment’s silence.

‘Open your eyes,’ suggested Jane, a veteran of the why-is-it-spinning stage. ‘Isnit meant to be your party?’

He shrugged and peered vaguely at her. ‘It’s nice of them, but it’s a little bit… weird.’ He shook his head as if to clear it and then squinted at his bottle with some confusion. ‘I haven’t felt like this since before… before...’ He gestured to himself.

‘Pretty nice, isn’t it,’ said Jane, pouring herself more wine. ‘Makes everything… less bad.’

He clinked his bottle with her glass in solidarity. She wondered if Darcy had scared him away with her ‘wiles’.

‘’S your name?’ he asked.

‘Jane,’ she said. ‘Jane Foster.’

He frowned. ‘That name sounds… familiar,’ he said.

‘I do physics,’ she said. ‘And I work with Erik.’

‘Oh, Erik,’ said the Captain. ‘That must be it. I’m Steve.’ He offered her a hand to shake.

‘Hate to break it to you, Steve, but everyone knows that.’

He laughed and gave her a rather nice smile. She was forcibly reminded of the last time she’d sat on a roof star-gazing with a perfect, blond superhero.

‘’S the matter?’ he asked.

‘Just… missing someone,’ she said. He gestured for her to continue. ‘There was this guy. And it was… pretty amazing. At least, I thought so. But he kinda ran off and didn’t call even when I know he had the chance.’

Steve wrinkled his nose. ‘Doesn’t sound that amazing,’ he said. ‘Cell phones are the best. He should call.’ He stared down at his drink. ‘’S hard when people aren’t there any more.’

‘Who you thinking of?’ she asked.

He shrugged and didn’t answer. She guessed for him ‘people who aren’t there’ was literally all of his family and friends. Gingerly she reached out and took his hand.

‘Life sucks sometimes,’ she told him.

He gave a rough laugh. ‘I’ll drink to that.’ 

And he did. 

And so did she.

~*~

Waking up in an unfamiliar bed with a hangover and only vague memories of the previous night was not an entirely new feeling for Jane. It wasn’t a particularly pleasant one, but she’d spent too long in academia to worry about drunken debauchery or her reputation. Besides, the rooms had the same layout as her own temporary accommodation, so it wasn’t like she’d wandered off base and got lost.

Waking up next to Captain flipping America, on the other hand, was entirely new.

Darcy was going to fucking kill her.

Steve groaned, rolled over, and seemed to realise she was there as he did so. His eyes flew open and he stared at her.

‘Er,’ he said.

‘Hi,’ she said weakly.

Now she was slightly more awake, she was pretty confident she wasn’t wearing anything.

‘Um,’ said Steve, still blinking. He sat up in bed, which confirmed that he wasn’t wearing anything either, and stared around the room. ‘Did we…?’

‘I think so,’ she mumbled, rubbing her eyes. ‘I don’t really… remember.’

He groaned again, looking mortified. ‘I’m so sorry.’

In his embarrassment, Jane felt a spark of courage and found herself laughing. ‘Was it that bad?’ she asked.

Steve buried his face in his bedding. ‘I don’t remember.’

‘Well can you check if there’s a condom somewhere?’ she said. ‘If not I need to get to medical for the morning after pill.’

‘I swear I don’t normally do this,’ said Steve, scanning the room. ‘On the floor. Eurgh. Looks like we were safe. I really don’t normally do this.’

‘I know,’ she said with a grin. ‘According to the movies, Captain America is a gentleman.’

‘Oh god,’ he muttered. ‘Wait… you said your name was Jane Foster?’

She nodded.

‘ _Thor’s_ girl? _Thor_ was the guy who didn’t call? Are you kidding me?’

Jane sniffed. ‘I’m nobody’s girl,’ she told him. ‘He made that clear when he went back to Asgard without so much as a phone call.’ She hesitated. ‘He… mentioned me?’ She wished she could stop the sudden flush of hope that brought her.

‘Yeah he did,’ said Steve. ‘Not much. We were kinda busy. He still- he wanted to find you, but Loki-’

‘He should have called,’ said Jane tightly, feeling her stomach churning. Then she paused for a second before speaking again. ‘Sorry I didn’t mention that last night. I probably should have said before we got to the making out stage, but I was a bit… out of it.’

They both fell into awkward silence before Steve ran a hand through his hair and glanced at the time.

‘I need to get to work,’ he said.

She averted her eyes as he got out of bed, as much as she wanted to do the opposite. It seemed like they probably weren’t in a place where casual staring was considered acceptable, even though he was pretty damn attractive and no wonder she’d put the moves on him. She briefly entertained herself wondering who had better muscle tone of him and Thor.

Once he’d showered and pulled on his clothes, she slipped from the covers, quickly freshened herself up and dressed back into her now rather unfortunate looking 1940s costume.

Steve’s lip twitched when she entered the kitchen area of his rooms.

‘If I get caught walk-of-shaming dressed like this, I am not gonna be pleased,’ she told him.

‘Do you want to borrow a shirt?’ he offered.

‘God no, with your shoulders? Everyone’d know exactly who I’d slept with.’

To her relief, he laughed and offered her a coffee.

Something told her it was not the moment to praise him for being more gentlemanly than Tony Stark.

~*~

‘Holy shit you did _what_?’ demanded Darcy. ‘Are you absolutely kidding me? What the hell? Why would you not invite me? You can’t have _all_ the Avengers, Jane. You need to share.’

‘Um, actually, now that you say that...’

~*~

‘That was not my first kiss since 1945!’

~*~

_**Five: May 2013. Safe house in a highly classified location that was probably somewhere in Oregon judging by the travel time.** _

There was a pattern somewhere, Jane thought to herself, as she peered through the print-outs stapled into her notebook. All these weird similarities, just different enough to be over-looked by most, but there was _something_. At this point SHIELD were only really holding her back - they were starting to say she was imagining things. Once again, she found herself debating chucking them and striking out on her own. Ever since New York, she got a lot more offers to consult, after all.

But where to go next? The magnetic effects were cropping up in several locations, strongest in Vancouver, London, and Beijing with no obvious difference between them. If she went to London she could stay with her mom, but she wasn’t really a fan of big cities. Maybe Erik would fancy London - he had friends at the UCL, after all - and she could persuade Lijuan at PKU to take some readings for her at the Beijing sites. Then she and Darcy could go to-

‘Earth to Jane Foster, are you even awake?’

Jane jumped and looked up. Natasha Romanoff was sitting at the opposite end of the couch, polishing some knives that shone brightly against the sleek black of her suit. It was almost as though she was playing the part of assassin.

On first meeting her - or rather, on first being physically dragged by her to a safe house - Jane had been surprised at both how small and how beautiful Natasha was. For some reason, she’d expected someone taller and stronger looking and less distractingly stunning. As Jane had worked, she’d found her gaze drifting upwards to look at her protector more frequently than it really should as she tried to figure her out.

Natasha had sat on the couch and barely moved except for the occasional stretch. She seemed comfortable, at ease, as though sitting for hours and doing nothing was all that she wanted. Something in the way her eyes and head shifted though, told Jane she was completely and utterly aware of everything around them, probably for several miles.

Once or twice, Natasha had caught Jane’s eyes on her, and Jane had instantly ducked her head back to her books and tried to pretend she hadn’t been looking. Something about Natasha was too dangerous to stare at without permission. The curve of Natasha’s lips told her she hadn’t fooled anyone, though.

Natasha cleared her throat again, and Jane jumped.

‘Um, sorry, working,’ she said, which was clearly a lie, because she’d been staring at Natasha’s knives since the first interruption. ‘What did I miss?’

‘Did you hear the radio?’

Jane blinked. There was a radio sitting on the coffee table, but she hadn’t noticed anything.

‘That was the almost-all-clear,’ said Natasha. ‘They’ve got everything safe, so you can breathe easy, but we’re to stay in the safe house until they send someone to extract us.’

‘Oh, good,’ said Jane vaguely. She wasn’t entirely clear on why she’d been whisked away to a safe house - SHIELD had not got any better about being overly secretive. Something to do with terrorists and her work, but it was possibly just imaginary knowing their paranoia. ‘What have I done to merit protection from an Avenger anyway? This had better not be because you all still think I’m Thor’s girlfriend.’

Natasha smirked. ‘No, I’m protecting you on your own merits,’ she said. ‘Apparently these guys were trying to create a bomb that rips open a wormhole and they thought you could do it.’

‘Huh,’ said Jane. ‘A bomb? That sounds like a terrible idea. The energy from the bomb either wouldn’t create a portal or, if it did, it would dissipate so quickly as to produce a portal that shut pretty instantly. I guess if it was a portal to the sun or something it would screw things up locally, but why not just build an actual bomb to cause damage? If the point was a portal they really need to look into a stable, long-term energy source. Arc reactors are the best, but if they can harness the grid - which is pretty easy given the shocking security systems - and somehow find a way to stabilise it - not easy, given how much work it took Erik to figure out the iridium, and that was specific to the design involving the Tesseract - that would be their best bet.’

Natasha shook her head slightly. ‘Don’t ever wonder why we hide you away from terrorists,’ she said.

‘I wouldn’t tell _them_ this,’ said Jane. She glanced down at her book. She _probably_ wouldn’t tell anyone that, anyway. She had once helped Tony Stark build better missiles by accident, but at least now he wasn’t so terrible.

‘So,’ said Natasha. 

Jane glanced up. There was something in Natasha’s eyes… humour perhaps. She couldn’t figure it out.

‘Have you seen Captain Rogers recently?’ Natasha asked.

Feeling her cheeks colouring, Jane stared at her. ‘There is absolutely no way he told you anything!’ she insisted.

‘Of course not,’ said Natasha, with another smirk. ‘You just told me, actually.’

‘Oh my god,’ muttered Jane, mentally cursing super-spies. ‘It’s not like either of us remembers a damn thing. Please don’t say anything to Steve! He was so embarrassed and polite about it. He made me _coffee_.’

Natasha snorted. ‘That sounds like the Rogers I know. I didn’t even realise he had it in him. Stark on the other hand...’

‘Are you absolutely serious? That was years ago! And please tell me I didn’t just confirm yet more suspicions.’

‘No, we knew about Stark,’ said Natasha. ‘Even before he was Iron Man, SHIELD kept an eye on him, which included keeping tabs on his flings and running background checks. Did you know in one year he slept with three Russian spies, one Chinese, and one North Korean? Not at the same time, obviously. Well, he had a threesome with one of the Russians and the Chinese woman, neither of whom realised the other was a spy, so that was a pretty fun day at the office.’

Jane stared and shook her head. ‘I have never been so glad I used a condom,’ she said. 

‘Once he settled down with Pepper we actually had to reassign three of our agents because they had nothing to do any more.’

‘So the fact that I had sex with Stark is on some SHIELD database somewhere?’ Jane buried her head in her hands. ‘Along with a list of everyone else. Including Russian spies.’

‘Yup,’ said Natasha, popping the ‘p’ with some relish. ‘How was it?’

This conversation apparently wasn’t stopping, so Jane snorted lightly and sat back. ‘Pretty good, actually,’ she admitted. ‘I guess he’d had practice. Please just make sure that list never gets leaked. And I guess at least if someone doesn’t believe me I can comfort myself with the fact that the government knows.’

‘SHIELD is good for that. Are you trying to get every Avenger in there to make a point to Thor? Because I think Bruce is already in a relationship. Also he has to keep his heartrate down, which presumably puts a damper on things.’

Jane was careful not to react to the comment about Bruce. She wasn’t sure if Natasha knew, suspected, or was just making conversation, but she didn’t need to confirm anything else.

‘It wasn’t actually a plan, you know!’ she said. ‘Stark wasn’t even an Avenger when I picked him up. He was just a funny story to tell my friends. And Steve is just hot and I was drunk.’

‘Maybe you should get a loyalty card,’ suggested Natasha. ‘Five stamps and you get one free.’

‘Or frequent flyer rewards?’ asked Jane with a laugh.

Just as she was starting to think maybe she could relax and have a normal conversation with an assassin-turned-spy-turned-superhero, Natasha leaned forward, bringing herself suddenly very close to Jane. Jane suddenly found her voice stuck in her throat and heart thumping in her chest.

‘You know,’ said Natasha, apparently idly, ‘we’ve still got a good few hours before we get extracted. Want to earn some more loyalty points?’

‘That is the singular worst line I’ve ever heard,’ managed Jane.

To her surprise and relief, Natasha laughed. ‘I know!’ she said, ‘but I couldn’t resist.’

She slid an arm around Jane’s hips. Jane swallowed, now only inches away, trying not to to stare down too obviously at Natasha’s lips.

‘Is this for real?’ she asked. ‘Or is this some spy bullshit?’

Natasha laughed again, and Jane could feel her breath gusting across her cheek. ‘Everything I do is ‘spy bullshit’,’ she said. ‘But I’ve not been instructed to seduce you, nor will I include anything about this in my debrief. Mostly I just want confirmation that I’m better at this than Stark.’

It was Jane’s turn to laugh, but then she closed the distance between them to kiss her.

~*~

‘So…?’ said Natasha, later, a faint sheen of sweat on her forehead.

Jane, still feeling like a rather tired puddle of goo, found herself laughing once more. ‘Yes, fine, better than Stark,’ she said. ‘Top of the Avengers leaderboard. Well done.’

‘And I should think so too,’ said Natasha. ‘And you’re not so bad yourself, Foster. Although this safe house isn’t the most comfortable of settings. I’ll have to tell SHIELD to get some new furniture in.’

‘Tell me about it,’ muttered Jane. The ratty, old bed in the corner had springs digging into her back.

‘So,’ said Natasha again, with a similar wicked smirk to before. ‘Would you like Clint Barton’s number?’

~*~

_**Not Number Six: June 2013. Jane’s apartment near the university** _

Clint said ‘no’.

Or rather, Clint said a lot of rather emphatic ‘no’s, via text.

> _No, absolutely not. (Sent 2.13pm)_
> 
> _Never. (Sent 2.14pm)_
> 
> _No offense (Sent 2.14pm)_
> 
> _But like A: Thor is bigger and scarier than me. And B: I am not coming after Natasha. (Sent 2.16pm)_
> 
> _NO PUN INTENDED (Sent 2.16pm)_
> 
> _Also, if your space boyfriend goes after Nat he’ll be in trouble (Sent 2.17pm)_
> 
> _Mostly from her, but I’ll help. (Sent 2.18pm)_
> 
> _If he goes after Stark I’ll buy him a beer. (Sent 2.18pm)_

Jane laughed and showed her phone to Darcy. ‘Looks like I’ll have to be content with four out of six,’ she said.

‘Boo hoo, I feel so bad for you right now,’ said Darcy sarcastically. She hadn’t quite forgiven Jane for the double offense of both sleeping with Captain America and not remembering the details.

Jane muttered under her breath. It wasn’t that she expected sympathy for not getting to sleep with Clint Barton, and the notches on her bedpost now added up to a frankly hilarious tell-all book. 

She just wished that Thor had…

Well, it was no good wishing for what wouldn’t happen. She was busy packing for Vancouver, and Erik had bought tickets to London. Typed on her computer was her resignation letter to SHIELD; she just had to send it.

It was officially time to move on from both the Avengers and from SHIELD. That chapter in her life was done, and she had her own work to be getting on with.

~*~

_**Actually Number Six, although Jane still thinks it’s Five: November 2013, the best day in the history of the universe. Jane’s Mom’s balcony, London** _

She kissed him. She kissed him so much she thought she might never stop. He wrapped his arms around her and held her against him, warm and safe and familiar and _right_ , and yet somehow new and exciting all at once.

With some effort she pulled back, her face barely an inch from his.

'Are you staying?' she asked.

'Yes, if you'll have me.'

She closed the gap to kiss him again, feeling a rush of joy bloom within her. Part of her worried it couldn’t be that simple. Then she forgot all that for the feeling of his lips on hers and his arms in her grip.

When she pulled back again, Thor followed her, leaning forward slightly and kept the distance as short as possible, eyes still closed for a moment. Once he opened them she gazed up at him, unable to truly believe he was there.

'For how long?'

It seemed to take him some effort to recall the conversation. 

'For as long as you wish me to.'

And with that, she leaned forward to kiss him again.

~*~

It was a couple of weeks later, once her work in London was winding down - she still had endless hours of paper-writing to do, but she’d collected her data and she hardly needed to be in London for the writing - that they planned their trip back to the US. She wanted wide open spaces and darkness to see the stars, and Thor wanted to see more of Earth.

‘Perhaps on our route back we could briefly stop in New York?’ he suggested. ‘I should let my friends know I now plan to reside here.’

‘Um, yeah, about that,’ said Jane, twiddling her hair in her fingers. ‘There’s some stuff I should probably tell you...’

~*~

The tower was almost exactly as she’d expected: plush and expensive interiors, with an oddly polite talking elevator that sounded almost human.

Thor was expected. He hadn’t mentioned he was bringing Jane. 

All in all, he’d taken the news rather well. (‘I had no claim to you, Jane,’ he’d said. ‘I consider myself lucky that you even permit me to make promises to you after the way I left you, let alone that you are willing to promise yourself to me in return.’ She’d found it impossible not to smile stupidly at him and had told him she was the lucky one.) He just seemed to enjoy the thought of surprising his friends and, to her slight surprise, so did she.

When they entered the communal lounge, Stark looked up, his face turning pale.

‘Nice to see you buddy,’ he said to Thor, in a strangled voice. ‘Dr Foster… fancy seeing you.... here.’

‘Hi!’ said Jane, smiling broadly at him, with a cheerful wave. ‘And Bruce, too! Hi! _And_ Steve!’

Bruce shifted uncomfortably in his chair. ‘Hi, Jane, long time no see,’ he muttered.

Steve looked like he was trying to sink into the couch.

‘I thought I should introduce my girlfriend to you all,’ said Thor. ‘Although it seems as though some of you already know her. How do you all know Jane?’ His face was the perfect picture of innocence and he smiled over at Stark in particular. 

Next to Stark, Pepper Potts seemed to recognise Jane. The look she gave Stark spoke volumes, although the chief message seemed to be ‘you brought this on yourself’.

‘You know, I’d love to stay and chat,’ said Stark, scrambling to his feet and backing away, nearly tripping over the arm of the couch as he did so. ‘But I’ve got some… stuff to do. Upstairs. Alone. Science stuff.’

‘Hang on, I can help!’ said Bruce, getting to his feet. ‘Nice to see you again, Jane, Thor, great catching up. But I’m currently trying to avoid stress.’

He made for the door.

‘Wait, Bruce too?’ said Natasha. ‘Damn. Good job. Am I still top of the leaderboard?’

‘Wait, _what_?’ said Steve, staring first at Jane, then Natasha, then at the door through which Stark and Bruce had run. ‘Oh god, are you kidding me?’

‘Some people collect trading cards...’ murmured Natasha, which didn’t seem to improve Steve’s mood.

‘I’m starting to feel like I should get a medal for being the lone hold-out,’ said Clint Barton.

‘I need to get back to DC,’ said Steve very suddenly, jumping to his feet. ‘I have work to do.’

‘What a shame, I’d hoped we might have a drink together,’ said Thor cheerfully.

‘Busy!’ called Steve over his shoulder. ‘Maybe some other time!’

Natasha sniggered. ‘That’s a hell of a superpower you’ve got there, Jane,’ she said. ‘We definitely better make sure the bad guys don’t get hold of you. The ability to make most of the Avengers run away on sight’s a good one.’

‘Not all of them,’ said Thor, gazing down at Jane with a smile, running his hand through her hair. His other arm, holding her against him by her hip, was the one bit of possessiveness he’d demonstrated so far. In fact, it was the only hint that maybe he wasn’t as completely unperturbed by it all as he’d said, and Jane felt her heart clench and a strong desire to reassure him. ‘I would stay by your side forever,’ he continued.

She beamed up at him, wrapping his arms around him and trying to promise him with her eyes that he was the only one she wanted to stay, anyway.

‘Ugh, people, _private_ rooms, please,’ said Clint.

~*~

_**Epilogue: April 2017. Jane’s Lab, Culver University** _

‘Thor! Oh my god, Thor, are you OK?’ 

Jane rushed forward to where her newly returned boyfriend was now lying on the floor, face down. To her relief, Thor laughed, rolled over, and pulled her down on top of him for a kiss.

‘Ew, your breath stinks,’ she said. ‘What happened? Have you been _drinking_?’

‘My love, do you not remember?’

She frowned. ‘I remember my equipment exploding, you rushing forward, vanishing, and then managing to open a portal to get you back.’

‘But do you not remember longer ago?’ She stared at him. ‘How long has it been since I left?’ he asked, running his thumb down her cheek.

‘Twenty minutes,’ she said, then hesitated. ‘And for you? How long? You didn’t- did you really- did it _work_?’

‘Think back thirteen years ago, love,’ he said gently. ‘You will not remember it correctly, but you might start to do so now. As I think I told you when you began work on this project: creating a bubble in time can affect your memory.’

‘Nature’s way of ironing out paradoxes, right? Jane frowned, casting her mind back to thirteen years before. She’d been finishing her thesis… ‘Wait, you went back in time and you met me?’ 

‘Accidentally,’ admitted Thor. ‘I simply wished for some refreshment after my journey, and there you were. Fate once again smiled upon us.’

She rubbed her nose and looked down at him. ‘I had a boyfriend then.’

‘Who ended the relationship-’

‘-the night before my thesis defence. Oh my god, _you_ -’ She broke off as her brain tried to drag up memories that both did and didn’t exist. ‘I… ranted about my ex for half an hour and then you took me to bed for the best sex of my life.’ 

He looked smug. 

She poked his arm. ‘Shut up,’ she said. ‘You told me I was going to win a Nobel. I thought it was just a really good chat-up line.’

‘You also, as I recall, offered to marry me,’ he said, eyes twinkling. ‘And yet now you claim love at first sight does not exist.’

‘No I don’t,’ said Jane automatically. ‘I claim that love at first sight doesn’t exist when that first sight is the front end of a car smacking into you.’

Thor grinned and kissed her again. ‘My first sight of you was you leaning over me. I looked up and I saw the most beautiful woman in all the Nine Realms. Perhaps it took until, oh... third sight to love you, but that is the merest of technicalities.’

Ducking her head, Jane tried not to blush like she must have done when she was twenty-three and confronted with this ridiculously unreal god of a man in a bar. How, after all this time, could he still make her feel so light-headed and happy?

‘Oh all right,’ she mumbled. ‘Third sight it is.’ She heard him laugh quietly and she looked up at him again to smile. ‘Goof,’ she told him.

‘Mmm,’ he agreed, propping himself up on one arm and tugging her across for another kiss. ‘I am most glad I did not have to wait thirteen years to be reunited with you: I would not have relished that at all. Although I knew in my heart it would not take you long to amend your device to retrieve me.’

Something in his simple faith in her - constant throughout the years of their relationship - made her own heart clench.

‘Thor?’ 

He looked up at her enquiringly.

‘Marry me?’

Thor, balanced on his arm, fell backwards in his surprise. ‘You… you are serious? Even though you know-’

‘I’m serious,’ said Jane, holding her finger to his lips to silence him. ‘And I know things’ll be different. But I think now I've invented time travel I can afford to take a bit more time to do other stuff.’ She smiled tentatively at him. ‘Like, you know, princess lessons and kids and whatever else is involved.’

He beamed delightedly up at her, then crushed her against him in a huge hug and then a kiss. ‘I love you,’ he murmured at last, before kissing her again. Jane clung back to him, happy to simply lie there kiss him.

The interruption came a couple of minutes later.

‘Hey Jane, I was running the numbers and- eurgh do you guys have to? On the floor of the lab? At least lock the damn door.’

‘Go away Tony,’ muttered Jane, after pulling back from Thor with some reluctance. Tony and Bruce stood at the door of the lab, both looking a bit like they’d walked into a room that smelled unpleasant.

‘Um, you invited me here,’ said Tony. ‘You were like “Tony, Bruce, I think I’m onto something incredible you need to come here right now”.’

‘I do not sound like-’

Tony continued as if she hadn’t spoken. ‘If by “on something incredible” you meant your boyfriend then I’m going back to New York. This town doesn’t have any good pizza joints.’

‘My friends, we have good news,’ said Thor, from his position on the floor, apparently content to remain lying there underneath her. Although if what she could feel through his pants was any indication, there was a good reason for that.

‘Three bits of good news!’ said Jane, grinning. ‘Firstly, I invented time travel and I reckon the Nobel committee are going to to have something to say about that. Again. Sorry Stark, better luck next year.’

‘Bite me, Foster.’

‘Fully fledged time travel?’ said Bruce. ‘Are you serious?’

‘I sent Thor back in time accidentally. Then I got him back.’ She grinned. ‘Now I just need to figure out how to get it under control.’

‘Ah yes, how easy,’ said Tony sarcastically. ‘You’ll be done by Tuesday. What’s the other good news?’

‘Secondly we plan to wed,’ said Thor, beaming up at Jane.

‘Oh, wow, congratulations!’

‘Is that why you’re eating each other’s faces on the floor of the lab?’

Thor ignored him. ‘I confess that I do not know the third piece of good news,’ he said, looking up at Jane with an easy smile.

Jane grinned. ‘Well, the good news for Bruce is that he’s no longer the first Avenger I slept with!’

Bruce and Tony looked at each other and seemed to exchange some mutual _sigh_. Thor shook his head, laughed, and kissed Jane again.

‘Please tell me you didn’t invent time travel just so you could bang your boyfriend more,’ said Tony.

‘That wasn’t the only reason,’ replied Jane cheerfully. ‘Although-’ She turned back to Thor with a lascivious grin. ‘Think of the physics-melting threesomes we can have once I get this working properly. Two of me! Or two of you!’ She heard Bruce and Tony beat a hasty retreat and found herself giggling in Thor’s embrace. ‘This is going to be a fun few years,’ she said, still smiling at him.

‘I could not agree more,’ he said, before suddenly sitting up and rearranging her in his arms before she knew what was happening. ‘Now, let us find somewhere more comfortable than the floor of your laboratory.’

‘That,’ she said, ‘is the best idea you’ve had in at least five minutes.’

~*~


End file.
